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By Dhananjay Chandak
Well this is my first writing. In this I have written about relationships n love n what can one do to be happy in a decent way. I just tried to put up my perspective towards love, relationships, etc especially for the guys n girls of my age group that is from 15 to 21. Have fun reading. Suggestions for improvement are always welcome.
Now a day’s there is a common thinking in the teenagers or the youth in our country about the relationships which we have during this particular age. Recently I came across a very strange question from many people around me, the moment they get to know that I have got a girlfriend the friend thing they ask is-
“ARE YOU SERIOUS OR JUST TIMEPASS??”….
Now my point is how anyone can get serious with a person they met some time back. I mean u need time to get to know them properly, figure out the compatibility between both of them….in short there is a lot more to it. In the start of any relationship everyone is casual most of the people won’t agree to this fact. According to a research it takes more than a year for anyone to fall in love with someone around them. And even if you know that person very well what’s the surety that if you both get into a relationship, it’s going to work perfectly fine, there is none.
But now a day’s what we hear is somewhat similar to this-
“Dude I a saw this girl the other day from smother section in our school/college, I know for sure that she is the one for me, I love her a lot.”
You got to be kidding when you say this. I mean there is nothing called 1st sight love (at least I believe so..!!).
My only point is that guys n girls aged between 15-21yrs are going into depression n such related problems because of all these “heart breaks, betrayals, ditching, back stabbing, etc…the list is long…..” they get attached to that person so much emotionally so much that they think that guy/girl is there life with him/her there is nothing possible in their life. This basically is not true. All these lines such as
-I will die without you
-he/she left me now m not able to study, etc
Are just our excuses to run away from our responsibilities, nothing else. I mean what if he/she left you? You still have your parents, sis/bro, friends, etc with you. No one dies without some person from their past life. It’s just that, one blank space is left in our mind n heart which can never be filled by anyone else. And yes many us are afraid to get into the relationship because we have the fear of heartbreak n all. I mean you are just entering few of those beautiful years of your life, which you should enjoy limitlessly n have fun, that time you say that no I can’t he/she is not in my life. You are just 18/20 whatever may be the age it’s just the start of our lives. There is a lot for to come ahead of us. I don’t think this is the age for us to get serious with “relationships” part of our life. Rather we should concentrate on our talents, studies n most importantly enjoyment. Because these are the memories we cherish in the future.
As I said above many of us are afraid about the relationships thing these days, many say that its headache phone calls, dates, restrictions n all. Well I say any relationship is based on your understanding about your partner. In every relationship both should have their personal space (it plays a major role). Restrictions should be there, but then only those which are not said yet followed. Understand you partner, there needs from the relationships, expectations from you. Always be clear, frank, honest to your partner, it never causes any problem.
There is one more angle to the relationships, especially to the serious ones. Why don’t we put everything into the picture when we think about getting into a life time serious relationship with someone??? Things like our parents (will they like it??) your partners condition (financial, family, everything), just love between 2 people is not enough to survive in this world. We need to think about all this. How can anyone possible forget about their parents while thinking about one of the biggest decisions of their life?? It’s because of them; you are able to have him/her in your life. At least we should have the dignity to respect them for that. And one more thing a personal request cum advice or suggestion if in life you come at a point where you have to select your parents or partner, always select your parents. Because no matter how harsh they have been with you in the past, in the future when you need, they will be there for sure no matter what. It’s an irony that this being one of the most important factors we need to think during getting into a serious relationship, it’s the only one mostly ignored these days.
My suggestion from my past experiences, till 20yrs of your age just enjoy don’t get into a serious relationship, go out on DATING. There is nothing wrong in that. As a matter of fact even 2 friends can date each other. If u go by the proper meaning of a date it’s just “a guy n girl spending some nice quality time together not necessarily they be in any kind of relationship”. And yes, after 20 you can think about finding the one for you. As far as I can say this is the best way I was able to figure out of “NOT GETTING HURT”.
That’s it for now....!! Adios...!!!
Dedicated to someone really special..!!
-JAY CHANDAK
